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30 December 2008 @ 03:58 pm
Christmas was really awesome, even though its really, really weird being home. I've been avoiding being here for awhile now, and I'm not sure why. It's been nice seeing old friends, nice spending so much time with my parents (individually, not together). I guess being home just reminds me of the person I used to be. I'm different now. Not fundamentally, but still different. College has changed me, my friends and life there. And when I'm here, well...it's like a tug of war. I feel myself slipping into the person I was a year ago, but trying to hold back. I love these people, but I'm just not sure they understand who I am now. I guess that's just the way it goes.
Current Mood: blahblah
28 August 2008 @ 09:37 am
So classes have started, and I can not tell you how good it feels to be learning again! I really did have an amazing summer, but I am totally OK with it being over now. I never made it to Portland, though. I am thinking about planning a trip over my fall break.

Anyways, being back is semi-strange. There was a relationship that I kind of left in some sort of rush, with things left unsaid. I suppose I was hoping it would work itself out? Haha. Yeah, that didn't quite happen. So here I am with these tensions that I try to ignore graciously. I smile, and we talk, and we are those kind of friends. And he has no idea. And I don't think he ever will. It's all just a little draining, disappointing, but typical, I guess. These are the kind of things that you are expected to go through once you go to college, I guess.

Oh, mistakes...
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: vampire weekend
22 June 2008 @ 02:55 pm
Aunt Lori and Brandon came over after church today. This is huge. Relatives haven't been over since the divorce, and I can't even begin to describe how kind of a gesture it really was. I have felt so disconnected from everything involving family for such a long time. To be honest, I think I tried to tell myself that I didn't care. But having them here today made me realize how much I really do.

So cheers to that.
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
22 June 2008 @ 01:04 am
So here I am, and it's been quite awhile, hasn't it? Well if figures. I always do this.

But, I think I need a good outlet. I have a hard enough time dealing with everything in my life and what I'm thinking and feeling. Maybe getting all of the words out there would help. Well here goes.
06 August 2007 @ 12:41 am
Hello livejournal.
This is new for me, all very new. 
i hope that I will actually stick with it.
Please, help me.
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful